Jealous Much?

OK, about a week in and my willpower sucks. So much for starting again again. Looks like I'm back to again again again.

Anyway, this week the kids are on Spring Break. Hubby has taken off the week because he has a boatload of vacation and he starts losing it if he doesn't use it. It's great and he's great with the kids, but I can't help but feel a little jealous. They went hiking on Monday, to an IMAX movie and the science center on Tuesday, toured the state capital on Wednesday (got in the Lt. Gov's office and everything), and are going down to DC today for cherry blossom festival time. Me? I'm sitting behind a computer working on spreadsheets. Again. Some more. Sometimes life isn't fair, ya know?

Starting Again...Again

Well, this is it. This is the day that I start taking care of myself again. Enough wasting time, enough eating things that aren't even that good. I mean it this time. Honest I do. Oooo, are there sugar cookies over there?

*Sigh* About eleven years ago, I did a pretty amazing thing. After a lifetime of doing nothing but eating and lamenting my yearly weight gain, I changed my life completely. I go to within 3 pounds of what I weighed in 7th grade. It was pretty awesome and I was stoked. So stoked that I couldn't ever imagine letting things get out of control again. Fast forward to my first child. I ate. A lot. I blamed it on stress - I had switched jobs so I wouldn't have to travel and hated the new job. Truth was I was using the pregnancy thing to go nuts. So I had the kid and oh boy, I was going to get back on the stick. Nothing was going to stop me. Much. Except another pregnancy. And more stress. And more laziness. Now here I am today looking like stay-puff the marshmallow man after swearing I'd never do it again.

Oh, I start to do the right things pretty much every day. It sometimes even lasts until about 10:00 in the morning. I'd love to just say stuff it all and eat bon-bons, but now I'm paying for my indescretions with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. You'd think I'd know better, but still ...it's chocolate you know. And French Fries. And about anything else you enjoy eating. And you know, that bed looks awfully inviting. I know, I'll go to bed earlier and get up early tomorrow to exercise. Honest.

Posting for the Sake of Posting

Really should try to update this, but while there have been various thoughts floating around in my head, there really hasn't been anything I wanted to rant on about. Oh well, so here goes the smaller thoughts in my head:

1. Read an article about how the world is becoming more conservative because conservates are having more babies. Somehow, that's not enough to make me want to reproduce again.

2. Read an article about Oppenheimer, where I read the scariest and most logical explanation/rationale for dropping the atomic bomb. You see, we really didn't have to drop it to defeat Japan (lots of info on the subject, if you hunt for it; generally, historians agree on this point). The point Oppenheimer made was that if we didn't drop the bomb at the end of WWII and truly understand how horrible a weapon this was, the next war might have been totally nuclear. Think about it. Korea was the next war. Can you imagine if the US and USSR had turned that one nuclear?

3. Why is that I have a whole list of stuff that needs to get done, but come night time, all I want to do is sleep?

That's all for now. Except to say if you were a Dallas Cowboy fan, should you be rejoicing and sobbing about signing Terrell Owen?

Sittin' and Thinkin' in Sunny California

So this week is the big show, which means I basically answer e-mails half the day and stay on my feet talking about my product to mildly interested passersby for the other half. In between I eat and I ponder and try to avoid spending too much time with other people. Yeah, I'm that anti-social. Not that they are bad people, it's just that every time I go to one of these shindigs, the fact that I'm not really that interested in what I do for a living becomes ever more obvious. Oh, I care, I guess...I mean, I want to do a good job, but if the fairy of good fortune bonked me on the head and said I could have anything I wanted, this job would not be top of the list (winning lottery ticket usually takes that place). I sometimes think I'm just lazy - I mean, really, there is NOTHING I want to do for a living. Oh, I think I'd like to write, but I haven't even managed to take the time to edit the one book I did finish. I'd like to bike-ride, but no one really wants to pay you to do that. I'm great at things no one will ever pay me for - vacations, movies, that sort of things. It's just the thought of trying to make money that is a brick wall. I was at breakfast this morning, listening to a guy talk about his retirement plans, using every cliche he could think of trying to sound "deep" ... and you know what? Not me. And I feel as though I'm surrounded by folks trying too hard to sound earnest. Maybe I'm just too much of a cynic ... or maybe I just want to go home (also true, I actually miss the rugrats ... and hubby of course). I dunno, it just feels like this shouldn't be all there is....that I should be doing something about it. But then I figure, hey, I can afford to do what I want to do, even if there seems to not be enough time, and why start over again. I guess that is it. I am just lazy. *Yawn* I think I'm going to go read for awhile.