But what about MY needs?

Just got a free gift card from Blockbuster for $15, mainly because I obsessively check my e-mail (it was the free gift from EW for being one of the first 15 people to respond to their e-mail). I usually don't go to Blockbuster - when we rent, we use Netflix because me and remembering to return things is not a good mix (not to mention the fact that the selection at the local Blockbuster sucks). When I buy DVD's, I either go to Costco or buy online from DeepDiscountDVD because, well, I'm cheap. So now I have this found money, burning a hole in my pocket. What should I do with it? I guess the smart thing would be to buy Robots or some kids movie for the girls - even if Blockbuster is overpriced, the $15 off would make it cheaper than buying it somewhere else. But ... but... [enter whine here] What about MY needs?

I hate to admit that I'm rather addicted to buying DVDs, so much so that I swore, as G-d is my witness, that I will never buy DVD TV series again (until, of course, I finish my current batch). My current batch is ... well... rather extensive. I have packages that haven't even been taken out of the plastic wrap. In fact, I just bought Millenium Season 1 and Battlestar Galactica Season 1 this past weekend (yeah, I know, I'm a geek). So the decision should be easy, right? Right? But...but... there's still Wonderfalls ... and ... and...Desperate Housewives (OK, I didn't watch it when it was on TV, but I heard it was good) ... and Lost .... and... and. Yes, I know, I need help. But what if I bought a movie I've always wanted like Run, Lola, Run? That would make it like a free movie (of course, the chances of my local Blockbuster carrying it? About the same as SMG begging to do a Buffy movie.). *sigh* I'm such an addict. I know what I should do, but I just don't know if I can bring myself to do it. I really need to exercise more (brief explanation - I only watch DVD's while exercising, so the more I exercise, the more I watch. The more I watch, the more I can buy. Yes, it's convoluted).

Competition

Just found out my daughter will be involved with a soccer tournament this weekend where they track the "winners" and "losers". They haven't done this yet in at her level, and I'm kind of uncomfortable about it. You see, while her coach is a really good coach, I don't think her team has won a game all year. The important thing is that they've had fun, they're all learning the game, and they don't seem too concerned that they haven't won. I would hate to see that change. My daughter is never going to be a great soccer player, but right now, she really likes the game. It gets her active and helps her understand a team environment. I know, I know, real life has winners and losers and all that rot. It's just that I don't see why it's necessary at this level (under 8, in case you were wondering).

I don't know why this all makes me so nervous. I'm actually a fairly competitive person myself. I guess it's that I know my competitive streak has added unnecessary and unhealthy pressure to my life. Instead of doing something because it's fun, you do it to win. It's even kept me from trying things when I was younger because I didn't think I could be "the best." I guess I don't want my kid to go through that. Who knows, though, maybe it won't affect her that way. She's never been particularly competitive (waaaay too laid back to be my kid, sometimes) ... and yes, some competition is good, but why does everything have to be a challenge, something to rank yourself against others? Doesn't life have enough of that already?

National Bookfest

Went down to the Library of Congress Bookfest this past weekend - a lot of fun but it needs to be more than one day. The kids really enjoyed it for all the reasons that are usually annoying to me: namely, that they got to run around the states pavillion and get free stuff. There were a lot of good give-aways, but you had to be there early. My kids both got back-packs from the Hooked-on-Phonics people. My favorite give-away were the seat cushions by Target - they'll come in handy during soccer games.

What's that? What about the festival itself? Well, it was fun. We got to meet Doreen Cronin, who wrote "Click, Clack, Moo" (among other very good children books). She was incredibly sweet. She had just finished her talk and was signing some stuff at the Children's Pavillion while her handler was trying to steer her over to the official book signing area. By the time we got to here, the handler had gotten quite insistent that she had to leave. We understood. My husband took a quick picture, and we started heading over to the official signing line. She stopped our kids and asked if they would mind having their picture taken with her. Very, very sweet. Particularly since when we did go to the signing line, we waiting for an hour and were then told she had to leave. They really needed to organize the signing area better. Maybe borrow some of those Disneyland signs that say the wait will be X hours from this point. The kicker was that after they shooed us away, she ended up staying for another hour, so we could have gotten her to sign the book. Oh well, it made the earlier picture with the kids that much more special. After that, we didn't bother with the signing lines and just wandered around. Got to hear Laura Numeroff (If You Give a blank a blank series of books). Got to see Neil Gaiman and picked up his new book. All in all, a pretty nice day.

Oh, you probably heard it was also protest day in DC. A couple of comments on that one: first of all, where were all these people BEFORE the war? Hindsight is 20-20, huh? Secondly, why did they have to pick the same day as the book festival to protest? The book thing had been planned for over a year. No big deal, but still .... it resulted in Lynn Cheney and Kay Bailey Hutchinson cancelling (I personally didn't care, but I'm sure some people were disappointed). And finally, I'm sorry, but they just seemed like a bunch of people who were thrilled to get more use out of signs they made in the 60's. There was no originality, just seemed like a bunch of group-think. Bush is responsible for everything from Iraq to Katrina to genital herpes. Um, no. Look, I'm no fan of the man - I didn't vote for the Bushes four times and wouldn't vote for them today. But the amount of hatred made these "protesters" seem as bad as the people they were protesting against. Whatever happened to respectfully disagreeing?

Parenthood

It's it's very own kind of 'hood. You think that the gangsta rappers live in a tough 'hood, you should try one of the parenting variety. It's a good thing you don't realize what you are doing before you have kids or the species would be extinct. I know that sounds bad, but face it, no one in their right mind would ever have children if they knew in advance how life altering it truly is, how you disappear a bit as a person, being absorbed into your children as almost more of an attachment than an individual. Of course it is also rewarding, but that's much more amorphous and hard to describe unless you have the kids yourself. If you only saw how your life would change once you had kids, trust me, you wouldn't have them.

And it really does screw with your mind. Suddenly, there is someone you would do anything - and I do mean anything - for. Yeah, I know, you love your mommy, your significant other, your dog. Not the same. Suddenly, you are totally responsible for this little life, and it scares the crap out of you. You don't want them to ever experience hurt or pain, but you know that they will (and more to the point, that they have to to grow). You want to let them make their own decisions - so long as you don't think they are mistakes. You want to avoid all the horrible errors your mom made and yet, there's a reason your mom did things the way she did. You want to know everything about their lives, but then you realize how little you really do know - case in point, unless your kid brings home all of her tests, you don't even know how she's doing in school (not really) until you see the report card. How many of you showed your parents all of your tests? You want her to be less neurotic than you are, but with you as a parent, how can she be? Then comes the guilts. I yell to much, I'm too demanding. No, I'm too easy on her. I don't spend enough time with her. No, I spend too much time with her - she needs to learn how to entertain herself. Oh God, am I responsible if her life turns out to be a mess? Yeah, parents really are that neurotic.

Junk Mail and Other Random Thoughts

For some reason, I've been thinking a lot about junk mail recently. I'm talking about the mailbox credit card offers and the e-mail varieties. For awhile, it looked like the credit card companies had given up on the direct mailing thing and my contributions to the landfills dropped precipitously. Then as the economy started to flail, they decided what was really needed was people with credit cards they couldn't pay off. Guess they had already talked every they could into buying houses they couldn't afford so it was back to the smaller debt stuff. What really bugs me is when they include those silly arse cash advance checks, already filled out for your convenience (or more likely, the convenience of a dumpster diving thief, but I digress). Leave me alone. You don't want me as a customer - I never pay finance charges. But still everybody wants me to experience the "prestige" of being a purple card level holder (or some other such rot).

Only slightly more annoying are the junk e-mails. They used to be even more painful until our company got better filtering softward. Then it died down for a few months. Now they've discovered that putting "Viagra" in your subject line isn't the greatest idea so they put in question marks. I do a lot of business with Asia companies - the translation packages don't work really well, and sometimes their e-mails come across with question marks in the title. Which means, I gotta look at these pieces of tripe. What's even more insulting is how stupid they think people are. Um, yeah, I'm going to click on an unknown link to G-d knows where. Sure, why not? At least be original people.

Just seems like there are too many people out there willing to waste my time. Grr. Argh.

Politically Incorrect Views

OK, I've not posted lately because I really didn't have much I wanted to share. And now, my first post back and I'm going to be a bit inflamatory. It's about Katrina. Yeah, I know. It was, is, and will continue to be a tragedy. But you know what? I've already given cash to the effort. I don't need every web page I visit to ask me for more. I don't need every blog I read to tell me how awful it is. I get it. Really. I'm not stupid (though some might debate that issue). I go to work, there's a message on our work intranet telling me how I can give. My kids go to school, I get a note on how I can give. My kids go to soccer, I get a note on how I can give. I go to the grocery store, I get asked to give. I go to church - yep, you got it, special offering for Katrina. And woe be it to you if you don't give to every Tom, Dick and Harry who asks.

Besides the overkill annoyance factor, this does lead to some other interesting questions nobody wants to ask, though. Where was everybody before this happened? Where was everybody when every scientist who looked at the situation said New Orleans was heading for a huge disaster, that building a city below sea level wasn't exactly the smartest thing in the world? Where was everybody when Bush and his cronies were cutting funding for the levee system and pooh-poohing global warming and the rapidly dwindling wetlands? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot - it's your money. Yeah, well, this is your disaster too. Great decisions there, people. Oh, and where was everybody when the poor of the city couldn't afford to leave? Gee, not our problem, they aren't middle-class white folk. What? You don't think race played a part? Doesn't it disturb anyone else that regardless of what I think as a middle-class white woman, 80% of the African American population thinks race played an issue - doesn't that disturb anyone?

And so what is our response? Let's throw money at the situation after it's too late. Nevermind that there is little to no accountability to how the money is being spent - why, to consider that would be hard-hearted (cue "And the money kept rolling in ..." from Evita). Nevermind that it's still a pretty dumb idea to build the city below sea level - we're gonna make it the same way it was before, dagnabbit. And if anyone disagrees with us? Why they're just commie-pinko-terrorists, ya know?

Weird Story Idea #407

Crazy thoughts keep running through my head. I'm going to try and ignore the big purple elephant tap-dancing in the corner (i.e. my job) and concentrate on what I WANT to do. Right now, I've been rolling around a story idea in my head for the last couple of days. I may even be forced to do something about it. It's set in alternate universe (kind of a fantasy thing that is very similar to our earth). People are pretty much apathetic like here. There is a "cult" called the Brotherhood of the One Horn, who believes their world was created by being vomited out of a cornucopia type of horn. Silly, right? Well, the community as a whole kind of ignores them, thinking they're basically harmless and they tend to do a lot of good deeds. They ignore it when this cult takes over the government of a small town, then a larger city, then the state and start spreading like a disease until no one is powerful enough to stop them. They control everything. They mandate that life be lived according to their rather strict code of ethics. They have "truth-tellers" who's job it is to make sure that people "think" the right way. They are graded on how many people they send to reorientation plants. Science is forbidden, except to support the cornucopia creationist ideology. Anyway, the main character is a scientist who is working with them to find the "Cave of the Oracle" - a key component of their mythology that is the location where "God" talks directly to His people. It is supposed to be a physical place. The scientist is actually trying to use their money to prove their mythology is a bunch of hooey. But then, he actually discovers the Cave. He takes the leaders there. They find out that while the mythology is correct and true, the way they have perverted the faith so infuriates their Creator that he wipes them out and decides to start over again, this time starting with monkeys. He always liked monkeys, cute furry things that they are ...

So ... whaddaya think? (And yes, I did think of this while sitting in church, why do you ask?)

Horrorscope

Just read my "finanacial horoscope" over the weekend. Apparently, if you are an Aquarius and you have a job, you will lose your job this fall. But if you are an Aquarius and you don't have a job, you will find a job this fall. So the big question is do I quit so I can be one of those due to get a job or wait for the layoff? Seriously, though, who thinks these things up? And wouldn't it be kind of funny if employers made their decisions this way. "Ok, you there, when were you born? Uh-oh, sorry, but according to your horoscope, you're due to have an accident at work so we'll have to lay you off before it happens." Or would it be more Nazi-esque: "All right, all of you who were born in February, up against the wall, the Donald has something to say to you" and a mini-Donald Trump automaton pops out to say "You're fired." Geesh. Maybe I should just stay in bed until my horrorscope improves. *snerk*

Repent, Harlequin!

And no, this post has nothing to do with the torn bodices and rippling muscles on badly written romance books you mother used to surreptitiously read in the bathroom when you were 5. This refers to a Harlan Ellison short story that I listened to this morning. The story takes place in a society that had become so slavishly devoted to schedules that being late was a crime, punishable by the "tick-tock" man. The "tick-tock" man had the ability to shorten your life - late for a meeting by three minutes, you lose three minutes of life. The punishments went up exponentially with the amount of time you were late until he could stop your heart if you were too late or late too many times. Anyway, the Harlequin was a major annoyance. He purposely went about being late. If you want more details, read the story. It's short and worth the time.

Anyway, it did make me think a bit about our society. Yes, this story was an exaggeration, but by how much? I know at my workplace, people brag about how many hours they spend on the job until I wonder if they remember why they have a job in the first place. To me, a job is the means to an end. Oh I want to do a good job, but at the end of the day, I leave. I have no desire to spend one hour more than necessary at my job. Why does our country seem to glorify the workaholic? What's so glamorous about work becoming your life? Why would anyone in their right mind want that? For money? Sure, but at some point, if you aren't going to spend that money, enjoy yourself, what's the point? It becomes one gigantic game of monopoly - accumulate the most and win. But win what? What is the point? Maybe it's because I never had a job in an area of passion for me (though I personally see a danger in mixing your passion with your profession but as Jynx says, that's another Oprah). I don't know, but when I start living to go into work, you might as well shoot me.