Mid-life Crisis? You Can't Make Me ...

Had an interesting dinner with a good friend last night. We both seem to be in a bit of a funk - from outward appearances, things are fine, terrific, swell even. But for some reason, we both feel kind of bummed out. After many glasses of soda (honest) and too long in a restaurant, we came to the uncomfortable conclusion that perhaps we're going through the dreaded mid-life crisis. Why is that bad? Well, I don't WANT to be old. When I think that way (which is probably fairly accurate), I have to admit my own mortality. I have to admit that half of my time on this planet has already passed. I don't wanna. You can't make me. *insert tongue sticky outy thing here*

Anyway, as we meandered through our conversation, it also became clear that neither of us are the time of people who folks gravitate towards, and that thank heavens we made friends in our twenties because new friends? It ain't happening. Part of the problem seems to be a latent rebellion. As I get older, I'm finding myself more and more annoyed by people who try to tell me what to do. I think it's because I was ever so obedient all my life, and it's starting to piss me off. Besides, it seems as though (particularly with family) what I do is never enough so why bother? Anyway, what it all boiled down to is the resurgence of a you-can't-make me attitude that while I don't necessarily verbalize, underlies much of my annoyance with life. Add to that a feeling that I'm tired of arguing with people (they should just do whatever "because I said so" - I'm often not really good at backtracking to how I reached a decision), and you end up with one crotchety old woman. Hmmm, maybe mid-life crisis isn't so bad afterall?

Chestnuts, Bells, and the Fat Guy w/ Cookies

Ok, can someone tell me how Christmas snuck up on me this year? I mean, it's not like I haven't been seeing the decorations for the last 3-4 months. And it's not like I haven't been accosted by people manning the kettles at every store. Yet here I sit, two weeks away and do I have cards done? No, not even made yet. Presents wrapped? Heck, I'm lucky they're bought. Tree up? What's a tree? Cookies ... mmmm, cookies ... wait, where was I? Anyway, suffice to say I am NOT ready for the holidays. And the more it starts looking like Christmas, the more Scrooge-like I feel. I guess I truly am a vile person.

Anyway, I'm also grumpy because (shock, dismay, astonishment) I'm trying to get into shape again. Yeah, yeah, I know, it takes time. But if I'm making myself miserable for two weeks, dagnabbit, I should see some improvement, right? I mean, it's not like I'm Twiggy trying to lose an ounce or two - we're talking about some serious padding that I need to dump. So is it too much to ask for a pound or two after a couple of weeks? Apparently, it is. *sigh* I'm such a whiner.