Nobody Ever Said It Would Be Easy ...

Yeah, you know the rest. For some unknown reason, I never thought about how tough being a parent is before I was one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you hear the stories, but really, how hard can it be unless your kid is Hannibal Lecter? Well, I don't THINK either one of the girls is heading down that path (we do worry about the younger one, on occasion, though), it's not as easy as I thought it would be. You see, I'm kind of an uptight, worrywart. It's like if I don't worry, then I don't care enough, then everything is going to go to hell in a handbasket. So I worry so that things don't go haywire (yes, I know, my logic is not like your earth logic). Anyway, now I get to worry not just about myself, but everything in the kids' lives too. You see, despite the total lack of reality, I tend to think things have to go perfectly in their lives, that they should never suffer disappointment, or suffer at all for that matter (again, logic? No where near this post). So now I feel like if something doesn't work out, it's somehow my fault for not doing enough. Cracked, huh?

Maria Full of Grace

Hey, finally off the Harry Potter posts for a day. I've started "Satanic Verses" - got it years ago for 50 cents to see what the fuss was about and am only getting around to reading it now. I'll let you know what I think once I get a bit further into it.

Finally saw the movie "Maria Full of Grace" last night - or should I say, I saw part of it. It's been on my Netflix list for forever, and I figured I either needed to watch it or remove it from the list. There really should be an expiration date for movies on your list. Anyways, I put it on the list because it was supposed to be "good"- which, technically, it was. The writing was realistic, the pacing well done, the acting good for the most part. It's just I can't figure out why anyone in their right mind would want to watch it. Maybe it was because I was in a bad mood anyway, but watching a girl make one bad decision after another isn't exactly entertaining. I know, I know, what do you expect in a movie about a drug mule, but it was just painful watching. It seems as though the more depressing a movie, the better the reviews. Anyway, the moral of the story is if you decide to become a drug mule, don't steal the drugs from the dealer. Gee, glad I had a movie to tell me that, huh?

Truth in Harry Potter

Yeah, I'm not done talking about the book yet. As an offshoot of yesterday's conversation, the subject of Rita Skeeter came up. She's another character, who while ostensibly not on Voldemort's side, per se, has at the very least a greyish tint to her character. One of the more interesting things is the question, "Does Rita Skeeter lie?" Think about it. She may not tell the whole truth, and she make take things out of context, but does she ever out and out lie? Typically, she takes an actual incident (out of context) and then poses questions. Harry ran from Dumbledore's death scene (fact). Could there have been more to it? Was he somehow involved? I was struck by the fact that she did often tell the truth (kind of).

Which leads to a bigger question of truth in the book. Many people lie, or at least avoid telling the whole truth. Look at Dumbledore. Look at Snape. Did lying make them automatically evil? Did it work for the "greater good" or did it impede the greater good? How is lying portrayed in the book? It is always necessary for everyone to know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? What would have happened had Harry known that he would survive Voldemort killing him? It might have made his actions less noble, but would it have changed the outcome?

Evil in Harry Potter

And no, I'm not talking about the "burn the book" kind of evil. I just finished the last Harry Potter book last night (well, actually, about 2am this morning - I had to finish it once I found out my daughter did. She's not exactly good at not letting plot points out, so if I wanted to be surprised, I kind of had to stay up and finish it). One thing that struck me was the interesting way JK deals with evil in her books. I mean, ok, you have Voldemort, Evil with a capital "E" right? But there are many levels of evil explored in the books when you look at it. What about Delores Umbridge? As far as we know, she wasn't knowingly in cahoots with Voldemort, right? So then, was she evil? I think she was, but a far more sinister, human type of evil ... just an evil, power-hungry, bitchy person. No, she didn't support the big Evil, but what she did to Harry and the non-purebloods could definitely be described as evil, little "e". Even within the people who did support big Evil, there were varying degrees of evil - for example, Bellatrix vs. Narcissa. Could you classify them both as categorically evil? Was one more evil than the other? Can evil be mitigated? And what about people who are basically shown as good who have their evil moments? What about X. Lovegood? Was he evil? Trying to turn Harry and his friends over to the Death Eaters was definitely evil, no matter how understandable his circumstances. And what about Ron walking out on Hermione and Harry? Wasn't that 'evil' given the circumstances? Even Dumbledore had his evil moments.

That's really what I like about the books - they are at one level, a rolicking good read. But at another, they really do explore big concepts without shying away from the uncomfortable aspects of the issue. I like that there is some subjectivity to the situations (another great example is Kreacher - was he ever really evil or merely responding to his circumstances). It makes them fun to discuss with the kids (even if it does drive them nuts).

Why?

Why is it that when I'm bumming about something that I desperately want to do something that is bad for me? I mean some people when they start stressing can't eat - me? If it doesn't move, well, ...

But why do I think this is going to make me feel better? Usually it just makes things worse cause now I have the added bonus of having overeaten added to whatever was bugging me in the first place. And if it isn't eating, why do I suddenly have an urge to go shopping? Like that's really going to help. *sigh* I guess it's just the urge to do something about the situation. But why can't it be something like running a marathon? Ugh.

This and That

Been awhile. I'm feeling a bit stressed about work, which means I pretty much stew about things rather than doing anything. Nothing new there. Anyways, been trying to read a bit more. Started a book called "From Eden to Exile" which is an archeological approach to the Old Testament. It's a bit irritating because the guy kind of starts from a viewpoint of the Old Testament is just a bunch of stories borrowed from other cultures, and obviously amateurs have no business saying anything about it. Which is kind of funny, considering one of the greatest scholars in this area (an English guy named Smith from the 1870's) was a rank amateur. Oh well, it's interesting, just wish he wouldn't spend so much time trying to discredit other folks and more time on what he wants to say. Like most of this type of research, I tend to fall in the middle - yes, I do believe in biblical teachings, but I think a lot of it has been misinterpreted and that folks need to explore for themselves. Bottom line, I want to hear the proof, but I also get tired of the oh-so-learned acting like you'd have to be an idiot to believe in the Bible.

Got caught up on some Supernaturals I taped over the weekend. I really do enjoy that show - it has a nice combination of suspense and family. Not to mention some very nice to look at leads. Can't wait to see what they do this fall.

Legally Blonde

Just got the official soundtrack to the Legally Blonde stage musical, and I have to say I was a bit disappointed. I'd been listening to a preliminary recording, and somehow, the real soundtrack was anticlimactic. I was puzzled at my reaction as I did enjoy the show, but I felt disconnected from it. Then when I listened to the preliminary CD, I fell in love with the show. I couldn't wait for the "real" CD - even though I knew there had been changes, I figured it would be even better, with a couple of songs from Orfeh who has an awesome voice. But when I got the CD, I found myself let down. Part of it was how some of the songs were recorded - Laura Bell Bundy sang them either in a higher pitch or somehow avoided the edge to her voice, which I find awesome. They just seemed to neuter the Elle character. I couldn't quite put my finger on it until I listened to one of the last songs, where Elle is considering going back home and giving up. In the preliminary CD, she sang, "That's fine with me, just let me be Legally Blonde." The final version was "It's not up to me, just let me be Legally Blonde." Not a big change? No, it was a huge change. In the original version, she had dared to dream that she could be more than what people thought she could be. She knew she could be more, but had never dared to do it. That's why it's heartbreaking when she decides - yes, she makes a decision - that it's not worth the fight anymore, that she'll just be what they expect her to be. Compare that with the second version, where here's poor little Elle, no choice in the matter. What a simpering wimp! The two characters are completely different. And that's why I liked the preliminary version better. That Elle, while a bit superficial, was never stupid or unaware. She was a fighter. She knew what people thought but she wasn't going to let it get to her - to steal a phrase from another cut song, she was a "Beacon of Positivity." They take that all away in the final version. It's almost like they are afraid a strong Elle is an unlikeable Elle. And that's why I'll keep listening to the earlier version.

Xanadu

We took the girls to NY to see Xanadu the musical (seriously) this weekend. What a hoot (yeah, I know, I'm old - we use words like hoot). Anyone who's around 40-ish would love it. It's just such a great bashing of the 80's (in an affection way). From Olivia Newton John's accent and breathy singing to leg warmers to Clash of the Titans, everything was fair game. And the acting, singing, and dancing were superb. It's a small theater with an intimate feel, which adds to the you're-in-on-the-joke attitude of the show. It couldn't have been more fun. And just as important, we managed to park for $14! Hey, don't knock the enthusiasm. You try to park an SUV in a safe location for under $50 for the day.

I'm still working on my story for my daughter - she keeps me at it because she asks for updates almost every day. I'm getting a bit scared because I think this might actually be good.

Enough Already

Not a great weekend. Went on a 3.5 hour drive to my brother's house to celebrate the baptism of his daughters. Gee, let's see how that went. First, we didn't get the details on what was going on until 10pm on the night before the event. And that was because my mom didn't hear from them until about 9pm that night. That's right, he didn't bother to call me at all. What's worse is the fact that he didn't have enough respect for my mom to call her until he did. What a scumbag. Then after driving 3.5 hours to get there, I can count on one hand with a couple fingers left over the number of words he said to me and my family. Yeah, I guess you could say I'm kinda pissed. Right now, my feeling is that I won't be wasting time trying to visit again. I'd cut him off completely, but he has my first two season of Buffy on DVD that I want back.

Then at work, well, editing this because I gave too many details. Suffice to say it has to do with a lack of respect. Again. Some more.

Yes, I'm in a lovely mood today.

In Search of a Pool

When I was a kid, the one thing that I always wanted was a pool. One of the neighbors had one growing up, and we would always hang around in front of their house, trying to look hot in hopes they'd invite us in. As an adult, I always figured they were too much work, but there was always a inner feeling of "But I want it." So we've finally decided to look into getting one, even though we have no flat land anywhere near the house, and even though the high school is less than a mile away and has a pool. Of course, that means we should start to saving a bit. Uh-oh. That one might be tougher. Why is it when you know you should be cutting back that you can find all kinds of things you want? Economizing ain't me, at least when someone says I have to. But I don't wanna.

*ahem* in other news, I've started a summer writing program with my older daughter. We're reading through Gail Carson Levine's "Writing Magic" together and doing the assignments at the end of the chapter. So far, I've written two pages of a potentially new children's fantasy. I'll keep going so long as she wants to read it. She's much better than I am at writing short stories. I just don't seem to be able to finish anything in less than 90K words.

News, Updates, Life in General

Just got back from Book Expo America (BEA). I love New York. We stayed at the Hilton right in the middle of the Theater district. Drove in on Tuesday night and made good time until we hit the Lincoln Tunnel - traffic added another hour to our journey at this point. No matter, once we were parked, we weren't moving the car again until Sunday (yeah, we were paying the lovely parking fees for a car we weren't going to use, but trust me, better than driving in the city). Anyways, since it was our kids first time in the city, we decided to walk around town a bit. Nobody had eaten since lunch, so the goal was to find a decent restaurant and chill out. It was fun watching my younger girl acting like a total tourist, stopping to stare at the buildings and people. We meandered down to the Palace Theater where Legally Blonde was playing. I had read in Playbill online that they weren't selling out so I suggested skipping supper and going to the show. Despite some inappropriate moments (try telling an 8-yr old not to do the bend-and-snap in school, or to ask if someone is "Gay or European"? to give you just two), it was just a really fun show. Found out later that the lead actress, the woman who played her best friend and the guy who played the boyfriend are all up for Tony awards, which is way cool (by the time I see most shows, the lead cast is usually long gone). On the way back to the hotel, we walked by the Wintergarten, where Mama Mia was playing (we had tickets for the next night). A red-headed woman was standing behind baracades having her picture taken and signing stuff. My husband commented that he wondered if it was the mother in the show (he's listened to the CD often enough he kind of knows the story by heart). Turns out it was - as we found out the next night. We ate at the Stagedoor Deli (waaaaaay overpriced) and I carried our youngest back to the hotel.

The next day was the first day of BEA. Oh. My. Have I mentioned lately how much I love this show? Basically, you have two choices: 1) you can go to the autographing area for free, autographed books, or 2) you can wander the floor, getting all kinds of goodies. Since hubby was with me, we did both. Boy, did we do both. Gene took the younger girl, who apparently charmed pretty much every booth worker she met, becoming an expert in the art of swag. People were literally seeking her out to give her stuff. I was in the interview lines with my older girl, who was gobsmacked to see so many of her favorite authors. She had missed a birthday party to go with us, so she got a book signed to the friend who's birthday she missed. And the authors really seemed to appreciate seeing an actual kid (most of the writers we went to see were juvenile authors, but pretty much everyone at the show was a middle aged library or bookseller). She's so excited that she's started her own blog to review the books she got.

After walking around from about 9 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon, we raced back to the hotel and cleaned up for dinner. As I said, our hotel couldn't have been more perfectly placed, so it was only about a block or two to the theater. We ate at the Applebee's next door. Much less expensive than the Stagedoor Deli (we figured that they didn't have the nerve to charge as much as most places in NYC because people could actually compare the price to their normal location). Got to the theater, and our seats were waaaaay to the one side. Luck was with us again as the people who had the aisle seats never showed so we got to move at intermission. The girls loved it. If you need proof, all you need to know is that my 6 yr old didn't fall asleep. Trust me, midnight is hideously late when you're used to an 8 o'clock bedtime. We waited by the stage door like the people we had seen the previous night, and sure enough, the girls got to meet all of the main cast and get their pictures taken with them. Awesome experience, and the cast could not have been nicer.

Saturday was more of the same at BEA - another awesome day of book gathering. We ended up having to ship my mother-in-law's books back home because we didn't have enough room in the car. Some of many highlights for the day included my older girl meeting her three of her favorite authors and getting to see what Gramar girl really looked like (what can I say, we love the podcasts).

We hung around for the morning on Sunday before heading out of the city, which was thankfully less painful than getting into the city. Next year, BEA is in LA. *sigh* Why did it have to be LA?

Thirteen for Thursday

OK, apparently you're supposed to make a list of 13 related things on a Thursday (or so I've read in other Blogs). Since I'm on the lazy side, I figured why not? Lists are easier, right (somehow, I think I'm going to regret those words). So anyway, being a DVD addict, I figured I'd list the last 13 things I watched on DVD or DVR (hey, I sometimes DO actually watch what I record). So without further ado, here's my Thirteen:

1-5. Grosse Pointe's first five episodes - this show is almost a must-watch for anyone who lived through the 90210 years on television. It's a farce about what went on behind the scenes. From the bitch-on-wheels Hunter (who, it turned out, was bitchy because she was hungry) to the pervy dad to the bald heart throb, this one never failed to go for the jugular (so much so that it never made it through a full season). At first, I couldn't decide whether it was too nasty or not, but I have to say when I got to the Halloween episode where they were ripping off Buffy, I was hooked.
6-9. Bones' first four episodes - What can I say? My mom was visiting, and it was about the only show we had in common. I bought it because of David Boreanaz and because it was cheap. DB is still great looking (actually, I have to say he's better looking than when he was on Angel), but the show? Well, I wanted to like it, but not so much. I don't usually watch procedurals so it kind of felt like I was watching the same show 4 times in a row. Maybe they aren't so bad spaced out, but there's no character development, and it just feels like deja vu every week.
10. Veronica Mars episode with Paul Rudd - hate to say it, but I'm kind of glad the show is going off the air. It took me awhile to get into the show, but once I did, I thought it was the 2nd coming of Buffy. But each year the writing seemed to falter just a bit more. And each year, they featured the characters I liked less and less. Hey, maybe it's more like Buffy than I thought.
11-13. Supernatural - couple of non-descript episodes from Season 2 and the end of season 1. Leopards don't change their spots. I think this is my new must-see show. I like the interaction between the brothers (the fact that they are very nice to look at doesn't hurt). I like that they don't take themselves too seriously, but still manage to bring the scary. Very glad that I'll have another season to see the brothers Winchester. And was I the only one who liked their dad?

Too Many Plans

Well, I survived the family and everyone seemed to enjoy it, so I guess everything went ok. We have the memorial service for my father-in-law this Friday, two soccer games over the weekend, and then I go away for business for a couple of days (feel my joy). After that, it's field day at school, Memorial Day weekend and then Bookfest. We got tickets to see Mamma Mia in New York for the whole family because nobody appreciates Broadway as much as a six year old. Heck, I didn't get to see a show on Broadway until I was twenty-something, so it may be jealousy talking, but I really gotta wonder at the wisdom of taking a kid who's bedtime is the same time the show starts to a Broadway show. Last two times we tried concerts, she fell asleep during them - and one of them was mid-afternoon. Yeah, I'm feeling this is a good investment. But at least she can say she slept through a BROADWAY play, right?

Words, Thoughts or Actions?

This has been a bit of an interesting week for me as my mom is visiting, and over the weekend, my mother-in-law was here too. Kind of made me wonder, what matters more, what you say, what you do or how you think about it? You see, I drove several hours over the weekend to pick my mom up and then drove several hours back to my house. I was feeling bad that she never got to see the kids events at school and all, so it seemed like a good idea at the time - but to be honest, I really didn't want to. Add on top of that some inevitable tension when you have two additional mothers in the house, and ... well, my thoughts were probably not the most charitable in the world. I think I kept my words pleasant - or to be more honest, tried not to say much, but the thoughts? Eh, not exactly kind. Does that negate everything else? And how much did my thoughts bleed through to actions, despite my best efforts? Oy. At least we're halfway through the week.

Civility

Just was trolling around, looking at some other folks blogs, and something started really bugging me. What ever happened to civility? When did it become acceptable to mock someone just because you disagree with them? Now trust me when I say, I'm about as liberal as they come politically, and to say that I really don't care for our current administration is an understatement. But the harrassment Bush is getting because of a minor flub in a speech? Come on, already. Like you never screwed up when you were talking. I'm referring to Bush's reference to Queen Elizabeth being around in 17 ...er 1976. Look, wanna rip on him for Iraq? I'm there. Our pathetic stance on global warming? Right there with you. But why bother cutting on the guy for a minor verbal miscue. Yeah, he has a reputation for not being the brightest bulb in the pack, but you know what? This was just a simple slip of the tongue. Good G-d people, give the guy some slack. I just don't get it.

Yes, I'm Alive

So, like is there a prize for being the lousiest at updating? If so, I think I have everyone beat. It's not that I haven't had anything to talk about; it's more that I'm incredibly lazy. Anyway, let's see, what's new and exciting. OK, well then how about new? Katherine has started gymnastics and seems to really love it. We've also enrolled her in art classes. She seems to be a bit insecure, not willing to try new things because she wants to be the best, so we've been taking the spaghetti approach with her (throw a bunch of stuff against the wall and see what sticks). She learned to ride without training wheels this weekend (mainly because they got twisted and I was too lazy to fix them, so I worked with her to ride without them - aren't I a good mom?). Her class play will be in a couple of weeks - apparently, she's doing pretty well with memorizing her lines (a major concern with the kindergarten set, if you can imagine).

Sarah is taking acting classes. She's going to start gymnastics this summer which could be very interesting, mainly because she'll be in a class with her younger sister who is 1) more flexible 2) has already had a session and 3)more athletic. It'll be interesting to see how Sarah reacts to not being the best at something. She's usually pretty cool about - a more laid-back kid you've never seen - but I wonder how she'll feel about her little sister being the one who's better. Who knows, maybe she'll surprise me? Feeling a bit guilty about not getting her into the art classes. We'll have to sign her up next year.

Oh, soccer season started again. Have I mentioned how much I loath soccer season? At least they practice on the same night this time. Unfortunately, Sarah's games are on Saturday and Katherine's are on Sunday. Yeah, weekends are fun. The good thing is that we get to take pictures again. I kinda like taking photos as the game. And am I a real schmuck if I say that it kind of annoys me that everyone assumes that all of our soccer pictures are from my husband. Yes, he's a great photographer, but I'm not that bad myself. *sigh* The continual struggle to find something that I'm good at.

Out of Phase

Nearly every sci-fi show that has ever existed has done an episode where the hero gets caught out of phase with the rest of the universe. They either shift to an alternate universe that is almost-but-not-quite right (or one that is totally opposite) or speed up or slow down or have something happen to them that makes it difficult to communicate with people from their own universe/time/whatever.

Anyways, I'm having one of those out of phase kind of weeks, where things just aren't quite fitting right. It's kind of like trying to zip a zipper when you can't get it lined up just right. Nothing bad has happened, I just feel a bit cranky or ... off. It's one of those weeks where I just feel like I just don't get it. Couple of silly examples? Went to see "Light in the Piazza," which is supposed to be some super-special romance or something, and I totally wasn't feeling it. The basic storyline is that a girl and her mother go to Italy, the girl meets and falls in love with a local boy and they all live happily ever after. The kicker is that she had an accident as a child and cannot mature past a 10 year old level. OK, so we're supposed to root for the couple, right? And all I can think of is 1) Why the hell don't they just tell the guy the truth and 2) How much "in love" can he be that he doesn't notice (I think he just wanted to schtup her, but that's another story) and 3) Boy is their wedding night going to be interesting. I think I missed the point somewhere - either that or I'm just a crotchety old lady.

Oh, and it doesn't stop there. I'm listening to the news, right? And two stories are on the air. The first is about a group that "helps" gay people go straight. And there are protesters all over the place. All I can think is if people want to go to these meetings or change, it's kind of their business. How is it threatening to these other folks? Don't they have anything better to do? Ah, but they say that it's wrong to try and change. Bull. People change or try to all the time. It's simply not their business. I guess this makes me a crotchety old conservative, right? But wait. The next story is about a guy who was the town manager for a place for 14 years and got fired because the folks in the town found out he was going to have a sex change. Again I say, who cares? So long as he (or she, as the case may be) is doing the job, why does anyone give a dang? People really need to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. So does this now make me a liberal again? Or maybe a libertarian? Or maybe just out of phase?

Storytime

About 20 minutes after she was already supposed to be in bed, our older daughter informed us that she still hadn't finished her mystery story that was due the next day. Thinking she only had to type it, we let her stay up to finish it. 30 minutes later, she informed us that it couldn't be longer than 500 words, and her current story was 625. No problem, right? Just needed a little editing, right? We could help her with that, right? *ahem* Then we read the story for the first time. Oh. My. It was supposed to be a mystery. She had decided her main character was going to be kidnapped and taken through a black hole into a dungeon. Oooookkkkk. But she neglected to explain the black hole thing in her already too long story. Ouch. So now it's an hour past her bedtime, and guess who gets the "editing" responsibility? Except it's not so much editing as re-writing. Heaven forbid she would have worked on it or talked to us about it last week when she was off of school most of the week. So at 10:00 at night, I'm furiously re-writing her story while trying not to rewrite her story. At least I got rid of the black hole of suck (my not to affection name for her plot devise). Thank heavens her grade isn't totally dependent on this one.

End of Winter

Haven't been super motivated to write anything in here lately. Not much going on, I guess. My father-in-law did die, but it's weird. He didn't have a service, and it's kind of like witnessing a traffic accident - you look, say "eh" and move on. I don't know that I feel anything about it. Which is sad, I guess.

Girls are back in school after almost a week off between holidays and snow days. I miss gratuitous holidays. I would love to have President's day and Groundhog's day and Winter Solstice and any other thing I could think of off. Not that I would do much. I just like sleeping in. I also love staying inside when it's really cold and sucky outside. No better time to read in front of a fireplace until you get so hot that you want to go out in said sucky weather to cool off. And of course, there are the marshmallows. Anyone for a s'more?

In Defense of Businesspeople

Just read in another person blog a lament about the comic strip "For Better or Worse." Seems as though the cartoon character just got a book deal, and the commentator has a bug up their arse about how unrealistic it is. Biggest complaint is how quickly everything has happened. Leaving beside that we ARE talking about a cartoon character, I have only one thing to say: Get over it. I mean, really, gimme a break. They're whining because a cartoon(!?) is making their profession seem easier than it is? Cry me a river.

Try being a business person. I have yet to see an honest portrayal of the busines world in ANY movie, book, or play that I have EVER seen. If you listened to pop culture, you'd think that every business person is a greedy bastard who wears nice suits and spends their days in a luxorious windowed office on the 40th floor, trying to figure out how to screw the average man. They then take their beamer to their penthouse for a quickie at lunch before returning home to their alcoholic wives. Oh, and lest we forget, unless it's the fashion industry or perhaps some touchy-feely social welfare thing, they will ALWAYS return home to their wives because they are always male. Um, yeah. That's the way it happens for 99% of the folks out there. Pity my office is in the 1% that isn't like that. Most business people work their asses off to make things run smoothly in this world. Without talented business people, most folks would at best not have half the pretty playthings that make life worth living, at worst not have enough food or a job. Yet is the business person EVER the hero in a movie/play/tv show? Um, no. Just once, I'd like to see a show like LOST feature the heroic businessman saving the day while the evil doctor hides in the bushes like a helpless little bunny. Grrr. Arg.