Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Nobody Ever Said It Would Be Easy ...
Yeah, you know the rest. For some unknown reason, I never thought about how tough being a parent is before I was one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you hear the stories, but really, how hard can it be unless your kid is Hannibal Lecter? Well, I don't THINK either one of the girls is heading down that path (we do worry about the younger one, on occasion, though), it's not as easy as I thought it would be. You see, I'm kind of an uptight, worrywart. It's like if I don't worry, then I don't care enough, then everything is going to go to hell in a handbasket. So I worry so that things don't go haywire (yes, I know, my logic is not like your earth logic). Anyway, now I get to worry not just about myself, but everything in the kids' lives too. You see, despite the total lack of reality, I tend to think things have to go perfectly in their lives, that they should never suffer disappointment, or suffer at all for that matter (again, logic? No where near this post). So now I feel like if something doesn't work out, it's somehow my fault for not doing enough. Cracked, huh?
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3 comments:
Isn't it funny how that just hits us one day? I came to this realization when I was pondering a situation with my niece just a couple of days ago. I had heard she was being particularly naughty and it frustrated me that trying to be the example and the teacher was such a hard job.
I can't even IMAGINE what it must be like to be a PARENT and feel that kind of responsibility.
Your worry-logic makes perfect sense to me. Just try not to worry TOO much or you'll go crazy (or, crazier - if you wish).
Oh - and PLEASE don't blame yourself if the girls end up having non-perfect, though perfectly-acceptable lives. All you can do is your best... being there, showing them how to make good decisions, teaching them from right and wrong. It's your job to give them the skills to manuever life... from there, they'll have to learn their way. Know what I mean?
I'm sure you're fantastic as a parent and so will they be as people!!! =P~
Yeah, I had a big ole dose of that realization. But, I'm fighting it for right now. I picked up a book, 7 biggest mistakes a parent makes. The thing that really took hold of me was that in trying to be a perfect parent, I was robbing my child of opportunities to develop skills.
Umm, yeah, I seem to recall you being impressed by my 'skill set'? Well, how did I get that skill set? I'm not completely sure but I do remember my mm NOT doing everything for me, that I had to keep doing until I got it right, etc.
So I struggle between doing too much and doing too little.
Maky anything kind of logical sense? Because I know better than to leave an opening to quote Buffy...
I go through the same thing all the time. If my kids are sad to be back home from their dad's, I feel guilty. I worry about all kinds of stuff. I fret that I'm not doing enough activites with them, that I'm leaving them at daycare too much, that they'll grow up resenting me. And chances are they will as teenagers because that's what they do. And chances are also good that as adults they'll appreciate all the things I did do.
Yeah, that had absolutely no advice other than you canonly do your best and let God take care of the rest.
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