It's it's very own kind of 'hood. You think that the gangsta rappers live in a tough 'hood, you should try one of the parenting variety. It's a good thing you don't realize what you are doing before you have kids or the species would be extinct. I know that sounds bad, but face it, no one in their right mind would ever have children if they knew in advance how life altering it truly is, how you disappear a bit as a person, being absorbed into your children as almost more of an attachment than an individual. Of course it is also rewarding, but that's much more amorphous and hard to describe unless you have the kids yourself. If you only saw how your life would change once you had kids, trust me, you wouldn't have them.
And it really does screw with your mind. Suddenly, there is someone you would do anything - and I do mean anything - for. Yeah, I know, you love your mommy, your significant other, your dog. Not the same. Suddenly, you are totally responsible for this little life, and it scares the crap out of you. You don't want them to ever experience hurt or pain, but you know that they will (and more to the point, that they have to to grow). You want to let them make their own decisions - so long as you don't think they are mistakes. You want to avoid all the horrible errors your mom made and yet, there's a reason your mom did things the way she did. You want to know everything about their lives, but then you realize how little you really do know - case in point, unless your kid brings home all of her tests, you don't even know how she's doing in school (not really) until you see the report card. How many of you showed your parents all of your tests? You want her to be less neurotic than you are, but with you as a parent, how can she be? Then comes the guilts. I yell to much, I'm too demanding. No, I'm too easy on her. I don't spend enough time with her. No, I spend too much time with her - she needs to learn how to entertain herself. Oh God, am I responsible if her life turns out to be a mess? Yeah, parents really are that neurotic.
About Me
- hftr
- I'd admit to going through mid-life crisis, but that would be admitting I'm not immortal. If it's a show that won't last through a season, I probably watch it. If it's horror tinged, I've probably read it.
2 comments:
Funny... I was thinking about this when I was at my mom's over the Labor Day holiday. Meeting Isabel and watching my brother with her... parenting for the first time, it actually made ME scared to be a parent.
I'm sure you're a good one, though. And here's a thought... even after you knew what you were getting into (because you had your older daughter), you still were willing to have a second one. The goods must outweigh the nuroses... =P~
Yes, they do. But it is kind of funny how you don't realize how much your life has changed until it already has altered beyond recognizable from your pre-parenthood viewpoint.
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