Seems as though I've been a bit negligent here. Generally, when I don't write anything it's because I'm bumming about something or another and figure why get everyone else down. This time it's been the relentless, mind-crushing, soul-sucking entity known as work. It's not that it's that bad ... ok, maybe it is that bad, but more than any individual issue, it's the soul-sucking sameness of the place. Nothing ever changes. Nothing is going to change. I'll go on vacation, and come back to the same mind-numbing issues I left. Oh sure, the names may change, but the problems and issues remain the same. And I feel powerless to do anything about it. Aren't you glad you asked? (OK, since this is my blog, you didn't really ask, but hey, you chose to read it.)
On another subject, I'm thinking about trying to write again. I want to go back to False Face. I think I could do it better this time. Part of me thinks I should work on Murder House, but for some reason, False Face keeps calling me. I doubt I'll ever do anything with it even if I finish it, but I just feel like I need to dive into some project right now before I becomes consumed by everyday life. It just feels like I spend way too much time doing what needs to be done that I'm afraid if I don't do something to break the pattern, there's not going to be a me to do anything when I finally have the time. Does that make any sense?
Oh, and I just looked it up - Manic Monday was released in 1986 ... 20 years ago. G-d, I'm old.
And can relentlessly depressing be described as a writing style? Think there's a market for it?
Monday, June 05, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
If Rainy Days and Mondays Get You Down, What About Both of Them?
Well, I survived Mother's Day ... sort of. I had a mini meltdown, mainly because you know that Walgreen's commercial where the guy tells his wife he thought about getting her a card? That's my husband. Then when he spent the morning putting up a television in his office rather than cleaning the carpet like I asked ... well, right or wrong, I was irritated. No big deal, we both got over it. And I still hate Mother's Day.
Unfortunately, I think I wasted most of the weekend. I'm kind of in one of those stages where you have so much to do that you don't do anything. You know what I mean? Where you fall so far behind, it kind of locks you up? Just me, huh? I hate when I get like this. Ended up napping most of Sunday away. What a waste, particularly with mom-inlaw coming to visit on Thursday. Wonder when I'm going to get the motivation (and time, now) to clean? Oh well.
Not only didn't I clean, but I think I managed to undo an entire month's worth of exercising in one weekend. Mmmm, caramel apple pie from Costco. Yeah, I know, I suck. Happy Monday.
Unfortunately, I think I wasted most of the weekend. I'm kind of in one of those stages where you have so much to do that you don't do anything. You know what I mean? Where you fall so far behind, it kind of locks you up? Just me, huh? I hate when I get like this. Ended up napping most of Sunday away. What a waste, particularly with mom-inlaw coming to visit on Thursday. Wonder when I'm going to get the motivation (and time, now) to clean? Oh well.
Not only didn't I clean, but I think I managed to undo an entire month's worth of exercising in one weekend. Mmmm, caramel apple pie from Costco. Yeah, I know, I suck. Happy Monday.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Can we cancel Mother's Day? Please?
Just went out to do that most dreaded task, look for Mother's Day cards. I don't know why I make this so hard. Why not just grab the first non-nauseating card and run? But therein lies the problem: finding a card that isn't a cliche, says something, but doesn't make you want to hurl.
Not only do the darn things cost more than a lot of books, but they tend to fall into a couple of categories. The cliche cards are annoying because they tend to fall under the "humor" category. Their humor reminds me of listening to my 7-year old tell jokes. They may have been mildly amusing the first seven or eight times, but its hard to generate any enthusiasm after you hear/read them a dozen or more times. Most of these play on the "I'm such a wonderful kit, you did a great job" theme and have some innocuous cartoon character on them (I'm looking at you, Snoopy). Yawn.
The second category are what I call the "I don't know you well enough so I'll send flowers" category. They usually have some showy bouquet of flowers (with optional sparklies sprinkled on top) and have all the warmth of a form letter. It's like you can almost see the "insert your mother's name here" marking on the card.
The worst, though, are the mushy, how-can-I-live-without-you cards. They are the ones that basically indicate that I couldn't figure out how to get out of bed without you mother, oh, how we've grown closer and closer over the years, you're the most important person in my life. Barf. Hello, I'm over 40. I'd hope that I might have figured out how to walk and chew gum at the same time. And I hate to break it to you, but I'm married with a family of my own. If my mom is still the most important thing in my life, there's something terribly wrong with my marriage.
Gah. I hate invented holidays.
Not only do the darn things cost more than a lot of books, but they tend to fall into a couple of categories. The cliche cards are annoying because they tend to fall under the "humor" category. Their humor reminds me of listening to my 7-year old tell jokes. They may have been mildly amusing the first seven or eight times, but its hard to generate any enthusiasm after you hear/read them a dozen or more times. Most of these play on the "I'm such a wonderful kit, you did a great job" theme and have some innocuous cartoon character on them (I'm looking at you, Snoopy). Yawn.
The second category are what I call the "I don't know you well enough so I'll send flowers" category. They usually have some showy bouquet of flowers (with optional sparklies sprinkled on top) and have all the warmth of a form letter. It's like you can almost see the "insert your mother's name here" marking on the card.
The worst, though, are the mushy, how-can-I-live-without-you cards. They are the ones that basically indicate that I couldn't figure out how to get out of bed without you mother, oh, how we've grown closer and closer over the years, you're the most important person in my life. Barf. Hello, I'm over 40. I'd hope that I might have figured out how to walk and chew gum at the same time. And I hate to break it to you, but I'm married with a family of my own. If my mom is still the most important thing in my life, there's something terribly wrong with my marriage.
Gah. I hate invented holidays.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Dull, Duller, Dullest
OK, is my life really that boring that I have nothing interesting to say for the last however many days? Don't answer that. Truth is, life keeps tumbling along. Minor things come up, but nothing worth a full blown rant. There's the picture I saw in Sunday's paper about an anti-war protest in NYC. The featured sign said something to the effect that Bush was more evil than bin Laden. And that's the problem with the whole "peace movement." If you want to be taken seriously, you have to move away from silly stuff like that. OK, I didn't vote for Bush (4 times, if you count the father and I actually had some modicum of respect for him), but I don't think he's sitting in the White House, twirling his black mustache and practicing his villainous laugh. He has made decisions I disagree with - period. What is gained by such exaggeration? Truthfully, it diminishes your argument against the guy. Whatever.
Other than that, my life had personified mundane. Spent Saturday pulling weeds - talk about an exercise in futility. I mean really, why bother? It took me all day to generate 3 bags of garbage and I didn't even finish all of the planting areas. By the time I get to the rest, the stuff I did this weekend will be disastrous again. I hate jobs that don't have a "done" to them. Did manage to exercise as well, which lead to being very tired on Sunday, when I had to take the younger rugrat to a birthday party. It was a swimming party - and trust me, this body is not ready for bathing suits. I was thrilled when I realized I wouldn't have to squeeze myself into a suit and settled down to watch her play with her friends. Then she decided the slide would be fun. Couple of problems: 1. I'm at the opposite end of the swimming pool from the slide; 2. The water in the slide area is 3.5 feet deep (about the same as the rugrat's height); and 3. She can't swim. So I go charging over to pull her from the slide pool, praying like crazy I don't have to jump in with my jeans (life guards, you say? yeah, right). Thankfully, there's a jet of water that pushes her to the side, and I reach over to pull her to safety. End of problem, right? No, she goes down the slide several more times. Yeah, I'm a good mom.
Other than that, my life had personified mundane. Spent Saturday pulling weeds - talk about an exercise in futility. I mean really, why bother? It took me all day to generate 3 bags of garbage and I didn't even finish all of the planting areas. By the time I get to the rest, the stuff I did this weekend will be disastrous again. I hate jobs that don't have a "done" to them. Did manage to exercise as well, which lead to being very tired on Sunday, when I had to take the younger rugrat to a birthday party. It was a swimming party - and trust me, this body is not ready for bathing suits. I was thrilled when I realized I wouldn't have to squeeze myself into a suit and settled down to watch her play with her friends. Then she decided the slide would be fun. Couple of problems: 1. I'm at the opposite end of the swimming pool from the slide; 2. The water in the slide area is 3.5 feet deep (about the same as the rugrat's height); and 3. She can't swim. So I go charging over to pull her from the slide pool, praying like crazy I don't have to jump in with my jeans (life guards, you say? yeah, right). Thankfully, there's a jet of water that pushes her to the side, and I reach over to pull her to safety. End of problem, right? No, she goes down the slide several more times. Yeah, I'm a good mom.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Two to Tango?
First off, thanks Jynx. I wanted to post something but haven't had time lately. This is fun and pretty easy.
Two Names You Go By:
1. Paula
2. Mom
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Khaki slacks
2. Light aqua golf shirt
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Love
2. Respect
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. Sleep
2. To lose weight
Two Pets You Have/ Had:
1. Samantha (also known as "that damn cat")
2. Shayler (beautiful, black German shepherd from childhood)
Two Favorite Sports:
1. Biking
2. Swimming
Two Things You Did Last Night:
1. Lifted weights and exercised
2. Watched Chicken Run with my older girl (she was sick)
Two Favorite Places to Eat:
1. Blue Moon Café
2. Beni hana's
Two People That Live in Your House:
1. Katie
2. Sarah
Two Things You Like About Yourself:
1. My intelligence
2. My perserverence
Two Things You Ate Today:
1. Pretzels
2. Some kind of Pizza sandwich
Two People You Last Talked To:
1. Sales rep
2. Boss
Two Things You're Doing Tomorrow:
1. Going to the theater
2. That work thing
Two Things That Make You Laugh:
1. Katie's questions
2. The first season of the new Dr. Who
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas
2. 4th of July
Two Last Films You've Seen:
1. Chicken Run
2. Ella Enchanted (I told you, my kid was sick)
Two Names You Go By:
1. Paula
2. Mom
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Khaki slacks
2. Light aqua golf shirt
Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Love
2. Respect
Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. Sleep
2. To lose weight
Two Pets You Have/ Had:
1. Samantha (also known as "that damn cat")
2. Shayler (beautiful, black German shepherd from childhood)
Two Favorite Sports:
1. Biking
2. Swimming
Two Things You Did Last Night:
1. Lifted weights and exercised
2. Watched Chicken Run with my older girl (she was sick)
Two Favorite Places to Eat:
1. Blue Moon Café
2. Beni hana's
Two People That Live in Your House:
1. Katie
2. Sarah
Two Things You Like About Yourself:
1. My intelligence
2. My perserverence
Two Things You Ate Today:
1. Pretzels
2. Some kind of Pizza sandwich
Two People You Last Talked To:
1. Sales rep
2. Boss
Two Things You're Doing Tomorrow:
1. Going to the theater
2. That work thing
Two Things That Make You Laugh:
1. Katie's questions
2. The first season of the new Dr. Who
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas
2. 4th of July
Two Last Films You've Seen:
1. Chicken Run
2. Ella Enchanted (I told you, my kid was sick)
Monday, April 17, 2006
Changes
Just a side question before I start: why am I so much more articulate and passionate when I'm driving in the car than when I sit down at the computer. This morning, I knew exactly what I wanted to say as I was driving into work. Now, well, it all sounds rather trite. Oh well, here goes anyway:
I want to be so much better than I am. I feel so out of control in my life. And the sad thing is, for the most part, I know what to do to BE better ... and I still make the wrong choices. I want to lose weight, but given the choice between a carrot stick and a chocolate bon-bon? Well, let's just say the rabbits will never go hungry. I want to be in better shape, but exercise? That's too much like work. It just seems like I invariably make the wrong decision. And yes, I know it is MY choice. That's what makes it worse. It's like I'm not serious about changing things. What's even scarier is the situation at work - I want to do better, but honestly? I don't know how. I don't know what to do to make myself a better employee (working on actual work rather than this blog might be a good start, but I digress). And this scares me.
I was talking to someone the other week about what motivates them to make the choices they make. I wasn't sure what motivated me. Today, I think I realized what it is. It's the fear of losing something important to me (trust me, this'll all circle around to a point ... I hope). You see, I lost a lot of folks important to my life at a very young age. And I never want that to happen again. That's why I'm desperate to keep a job that I dread going to - it gives me the resources to do other things that are important (schooling for the kids being a big one). I'm scared to death of disrupting their lives - that's why I don't want things to change. So I stay hear, fearful that one day they (the powers that be at work, or whatever) will discover that I don't know what else to do, that I've outlived my usefulness, and dump my arse out on the street. Then what happens?
Anyway, that's my puddle of goo state of mind today. Great way to start a Monday.
I want to be so much better than I am. I feel so out of control in my life. And the sad thing is, for the most part, I know what to do to BE better ... and I still make the wrong choices. I want to lose weight, but given the choice between a carrot stick and a chocolate bon-bon? Well, let's just say the rabbits will never go hungry. I want to be in better shape, but exercise? That's too much like work. It just seems like I invariably make the wrong decision. And yes, I know it is MY choice. That's what makes it worse. It's like I'm not serious about changing things. What's even scarier is the situation at work - I want to do better, but honestly? I don't know how. I don't know what to do to make myself a better employee (working on actual work rather than this blog might be a good start, but I digress). And this scares me.
I was talking to someone the other week about what motivates them to make the choices they make. I wasn't sure what motivated me. Today, I think I realized what it is. It's the fear of losing something important to me (trust me, this'll all circle around to a point ... I hope). You see, I lost a lot of folks important to my life at a very young age. And I never want that to happen again. That's why I'm desperate to keep a job that I dread going to - it gives me the resources to do other things that are important (schooling for the kids being a big one). I'm scared to death of disrupting their lives - that's why I don't want things to change. So I stay hear, fearful that one day they (the powers that be at work, or whatever) will discover that I don't know what else to do, that I've outlived my usefulness, and dump my arse out on the street. Then what happens?
Anyway, that's my puddle of goo state of mind today. Great way to start a Monday.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Lovable Losers
You may or may not know that I am a huge sports fans. Wait, check that. I'm actually a huge fan of Pittsburgh sports teams. Which has basically meant that I live for football season and suffer through hockey and baseball. Of the two suffering sports, baseball is the one I feel most passionately about. Trust me, it's not easy rooting for a team that hasn't seen a winning season in 13 years. But I grew up with them. I used to argue with my Grandma about Willie Stargell (she hated him, I loved him). I would sit by the radio listening to Lanny Frattare and score the games. I was hooked big time. I knew the stats and followed the trades - nobody could have been happier when we scored Bill Madlock. But now ... well, it's hard. Every year you think this is the year that that well stocked minor league system pays off. And every year, last year's phenom gets shelled (case in point ... Oliver Perez ... and Zack Duke ... and probably Paul Maholm unless he starts pitching better). Suffice to say, it's hard. I've taken to looking at the rankings as a two team race between the Pirates and the team immediately ahead of them, creating a pseudo-pennant race in my head - and they STILL don't really compete. So what's a girl to do? Skip over to the Yankees like some fair weather Johnny Damon? No way. Someday ... (probably not, but you gotta keep dreamin', right?)
Monday, April 10, 2006
Moving On
I've been doing a bit more reading lately and discovered something: I like reading more than I like writing. I also have realized that while it's fun writing the intial story, the editing and stuff? Not so much fun. It's then when I realize that I'm not a particularly good writer. I mean, I'm ok, but given the amount of time I've spent trying to edit the one thing I did finish ... it's really not worth it. It's not really all that much fun, and all it really does is point out something I thought was pretty good when I first wrote it isn't all that great.
So what does this all mean? I think I'm going to forget about the first book. I don't think it's worth the hassle of trying to salvage it. The storyline is ok, but it's structured all wrong. It needs to start out more exciting. I'm thinking about going back to the original first book I was working on and see what I can do with that, but ultimately, this will just be for me. My job is my job. This isn't my job and never will be and that's ok. I will do it when it's fun and go on to something else when its not fun. It's going back to what it always should have been - a fun hobby. Maybe this sounds strange to some of you, but I did harbor this feeling that I could quit work and live off of writing, but I really don't think I want to do that. Besides the statistical improbability of being able to do that, writing should be fun. I've been avoiding working on writing for fear I needed to finish what I've already started. Why? I have enough things in my life that I have to do, why make my hobbies un-fun?
So what does this all mean? I think I'm going to forget about the first book. I don't think it's worth the hassle of trying to salvage it. The storyline is ok, but it's structured all wrong. It needs to start out more exciting. I'm thinking about going back to the original first book I was working on and see what I can do with that, but ultimately, this will just be for me. My job is my job. This isn't my job and never will be and that's ok. I will do it when it's fun and go on to something else when its not fun. It's going back to what it always should have been - a fun hobby. Maybe this sounds strange to some of you, but I did harbor this feeling that I could quit work and live off of writing, but I really don't think I want to do that. Besides the statistical improbability of being able to do that, writing should be fun. I've been avoiding working on writing for fear I needed to finish what I've already started. Why? I have enough things in my life that I have to do, why make my hobbies un-fun?
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Jealous Much?
OK, about a week in and my willpower sucks. So much for starting again again. Looks like I'm back to again again again.
Anyway, this week the kids are on Spring Break. Hubby has taken off the week because he has a boatload of vacation and he starts losing it if he doesn't use it. It's great and he's great with the kids, but I can't help but feel a little jealous. They went hiking on Monday, to an IMAX movie and the science center on Tuesday, toured the state capital on Wednesday (got in the Lt. Gov's office and everything), and are going down to DC today for cherry blossom festival time. Me? I'm sitting behind a computer working on spreadsheets. Again. Some more. Sometimes life isn't fair, ya know?
Anyway, this week the kids are on Spring Break. Hubby has taken off the week because he has a boatload of vacation and he starts losing it if he doesn't use it. It's great and he's great with the kids, but I can't help but feel a little jealous. They went hiking on Monday, to an IMAX movie and the science center on Tuesday, toured the state capital on Wednesday (got in the Lt. Gov's office and everything), and are going down to DC today for cherry blossom festival time. Me? I'm sitting behind a computer working on spreadsheets. Again. Some more. Sometimes life isn't fair, ya know?
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Starting Again...Again
Well, this is it. This is the day that I start taking care of myself again. Enough wasting time, enough eating things that aren't even that good. I mean it this time. Honest I do. Oooo, are there sugar cookies over there?
*Sigh* About eleven years ago, I did a pretty amazing thing. After a lifetime of doing nothing but eating and lamenting my yearly weight gain, I changed my life completely. I go to within 3 pounds of what I weighed in 7th grade. It was pretty awesome and I was stoked. So stoked that I couldn't ever imagine letting things get out of control again. Fast forward to my first child. I ate. A lot. I blamed it on stress - I had switched jobs so I wouldn't have to travel and hated the new job. Truth was I was using the pregnancy thing to go nuts. So I had the kid and oh boy, I was going to get back on the stick. Nothing was going to stop me. Much. Except another pregnancy. And more stress. And more laziness. Now here I am today looking like stay-puff the marshmallow man after swearing I'd never do it again.
Oh, I start to do the right things pretty much every day. It sometimes even lasts until about 10:00 in the morning. I'd love to just say stuff it all and eat bon-bons, but now I'm paying for my indescretions with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. You'd think I'd know better, but still ...it's chocolate you know. And French Fries. And about anything else you enjoy eating. And you know, that bed looks awfully inviting. I know, I'll go to bed earlier and get up early tomorrow to exercise. Honest.
*Sigh* About eleven years ago, I did a pretty amazing thing. After a lifetime of doing nothing but eating and lamenting my yearly weight gain, I changed my life completely. I go to within 3 pounds of what I weighed in 7th grade. It was pretty awesome and I was stoked. So stoked that I couldn't ever imagine letting things get out of control again. Fast forward to my first child. I ate. A lot. I blamed it on stress - I had switched jobs so I wouldn't have to travel and hated the new job. Truth was I was using the pregnancy thing to go nuts. So I had the kid and oh boy, I was going to get back on the stick. Nothing was going to stop me. Much. Except another pregnancy. And more stress. And more laziness. Now here I am today looking like stay-puff the marshmallow man after swearing I'd never do it again.
Oh, I start to do the right things pretty much every day. It sometimes even lasts until about 10:00 in the morning. I'd love to just say stuff it all and eat bon-bons, but now I'm paying for my indescretions with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. You'd think I'd know better, but still ...it's chocolate you know. And French Fries. And about anything else you enjoy eating. And you know, that bed looks awfully inviting. I know, I'll go to bed earlier and get up early tomorrow to exercise. Honest.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Posting for the Sake of Posting
Really should try to update this, but while there have been various thoughts floating around in my head, there really hasn't been anything I wanted to rant on about. Oh well, so here goes the smaller thoughts in my head:
1. Read an article about how the world is becoming more conservative because conservates are having more babies. Somehow, that's not enough to make me want to reproduce again.
2. Read an article about Oppenheimer, where I read the scariest and most logical explanation/rationale for dropping the atomic bomb. You see, we really didn't have to drop it to defeat Japan (lots of info on the subject, if you hunt for it; generally, historians agree on this point). The point Oppenheimer made was that if we didn't drop the bomb at the end of WWII and truly understand how horrible a weapon this was, the next war might have been totally nuclear. Think about it. Korea was the next war. Can you imagine if the US and USSR had turned that one nuclear?
3. Why is that I have a whole list of stuff that needs to get done, but come night time, all I want to do is sleep?
That's all for now. Except to say if you were a Dallas Cowboy fan, should you be rejoicing and sobbing about signing Terrell Owen?
1. Read an article about how the world is becoming more conservative because conservates are having more babies. Somehow, that's not enough to make me want to reproduce again.
2. Read an article about Oppenheimer, where I read the scariest and most logical explanation/rationale for dropping the atomic bomb. You see, we really didn't have to drop it to defeat Japan (lots of info on the subject, if you hunt for it; generally, historians agree on this point). The point Oppenheimer made was that if we didn't drop the bomb at the end of WWII and truly understand how horrible a weapon this was, the next war might have been totally nuclear. Think about it. Korea was the next war. Can you imagine if the US and USSR had turned that one nuclear?
3. Why is that I have a whole list of stuff that needs to get done, but come night time, all I want to do is sleep?
That's all for now. Except to say if you were a Dallas Cowboy fan, should you be rejoicing and sobbing about signing Terrell Owen?
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Sittin' and Thinkin' in Sunny California
So this week is the big show, which means I basically answer e-mails half the day and stay on my feet talking about my product to mildly interested passersby for the other half. In between I eat and I ponder and try to avoid spending too much time with other people. Yeah, I'm that anti-social. Not that they are bad people, it's just that every time I go to one of these shindigs, the fact that I'm not really that interested in what I do for a living becomes ever more obvious. Oh, I care, I guess...I mean, I want to do a good job, but if the fairy of good fortune bonked me on the head and said I could have anything I wanted, this job would not be top of the list (winning lottery ticket usually takes that place). I sometimes think I'm just lazy - I mean, really, there is NOTHING I want to do for a living. Oh, I think I'd like to write, but I haven't even managed to take the time to edit the one book I did finish. I'd like to bike-ride, but no one really wants to pay you to do that. I'm great at things no one will ever pay me for - vacations, movies, that sort of things. It's just the thought of trying to make money that is a brick wall. I was at breakfast this morning, listening to a guy talk about his retirement plans, using every cliche he could think of trying to sound "deep" ... and you know what? Not me. And I feel as though I'm surrounded by folks trying too hard to sound earnest. Maybe I'm just too much of a cynic ... or maybe I just want to go home (also true, I actually miss the rugrats ... and hubby of course). I dunno, it just feels like this shouldn't be all there is....that I should be doing something about it. But then I figure, hey, I can afford to do what I want to do, even if there seems to not be enough time, and why start over again. I guess that is it. I am just lazy. *Yawn* I think I'm going to go read for awhile.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Back Again
Anybody miss me?
Anyway, have a couple of thoughts floating around my pea brain of varying degrees of importance, so here goes:
1. Hate - anybody realize how frequently we use this word? I hate artichokes, I hate my job, I hate [fill in the blank]. Do we really hate all these things? Or are there only aspects that we dislike. How intensely do you have to dislike something to say that you HATE it? I just think it's overused. For example, my job makes me uncomfortable and cranky, but do I really hate it? I like the money it gives me, and on occasion, I can accomplish things. Yeah, I'm not crazy about it, but does it really reach the hate level? And what kind of person/society does it make for with all this so-called "hate" being bandied about? Just thinkin'
2. Joy - I realized today as I came into work that I'm really worried about my kids and their future. I so want them to enjoy their adult life as much as they enjoy their childhood. What happens that seems to make us so much less joyful as we grow-up? Does it have something to do with item 1?
3. Yellow sweatpants - do not believe the fallacy that sweatpants come in any color. They do not. I spent an entire weekend proving this. I "hate" yellow sweatpants.
Anyway, have a couple of thoughts floating around my pea brain of varying degrees of importance, so here goes:
1. Hate - anybody realize how frequently we use this word? I hate artichokes, I hate my job, I hate [fill in the blank]. Do we really hate all these things? Or are there only aspects that we dislike. How intensely do you have to dislike something to say that you HATE it? I just think it's overused. For example, my job makes me uncomfortable and cranky, but do I really hate it? I like the money it gives me, and on occasion, I can accomplish things. Yeah, I'm not crazy about it, but does it really reach the hate level? And what kind of person/society does it make for with all this so-called "hate" being bandied about? Just thinkin'
2. Joy - I realized today as I came into work that I'm really worried about my kids and their future. I so want them to enjoy their adult life as much as they enjoy their childhood. What happens that seems to make us so much less joyful as we grow-up? Does it have something to do with item 1?
3. Yellow sweatpants - do not believe the fallacy that sweatpants come in any color. They do not. I spent an entire weekend proving this. I "hate" yellow sweatpants.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Hee! I look 37!
Had a doctor's appointment today. The highlight was when the doctor said he thought I was only 37. How sad is it that that kind of made my day? Never thought I'd see the day that having someone think you were 37 was a good thing. Hee.
Been feeling older and older lately. Watching the Olympics does that to me. It's all that "poor Michelle Kwan, not as young as she used to be, 25" thing that bugs. Not to mention the whole snowboarding thing, which I do NOT get. It's like they're speaking a foreign language. And anyone, it's kind of hard to take something serious as a sport when all the competitors look like they use the word "dude" regularly - without any intended irony. Call me old-fashioned, but I want my sports a little more cut and dry than "Whoa, did you see that [insert some phrase that I have no clue as to what it means]?" The guy who goes the fastest wins. Easy. Right? Anything else, no matter how pretty, isn't a sport.
That goes for the whole figure skating thing too. Not a sport. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's physically straining. But then again, so is gardening and it's not an Olympic event. But seriously, dancing is also physically straining - not the point. When someone just decides who is the winner, it ceases to be a sport. Just look at the latest Superbowl. Oops, was that outloud voice again?
Been feeling older and older lately. Watching the Olympics does that to me. It's all that "poor Michelle Kwan, not as young as she used to be, 25" thing that bugs. Not to mention the whole snowboarding thing, which I do NOT get. It's like they're speaking a foreign language. And anyone, it's kind of hard to take something serious as a sport when all the competitors look like they use the word "dude" regularly - without any intended irony. Call me old-fashioned, but I want my sports a little more cut and dry than "Whoa, did you see that [insert some phrase that I have no clue as to what it means]?" The guy who goes the fastest wins. Easy. Right? Anything else, no matter how pretty, isn't a sport.
That goes for the whole figure skating thing too. Not a sport. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's physically straining. But then again, so is gardening and it's not an Olympic event. But seriously, dancing is also physically straining - not the point. When someone just decides who is the winner, it ceases to be a sport. Just look at the latest Superbowl. Oops, was that outloud voice again?
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Kick Ass Women in TV
Driving into work this morning, my mind wandered over to considering the television shows I like the best. Besides tending to be in the sci-fi/fantasy/adventure genre (yes, I'm a geek), they all have one other thing in common: kick ass women as the protagonist. Whether the shows are good (Veronica Mars) or truly dreadful (I'm looking at you, Charmed), they all seem to have strong women as their lead characters. Made me think about the best women characters ever in television. In evaluating them, I decided on a couple of ground rules. 1. They have to characters I liked through the entire run of the series (that means no Buffy, no Sydney Bristow). 2. They have to have been on shows that lasted more than 1 season (Sorry, Jaye from Wonderfalls or Zoe from Firefly). So, without further delay, here's my list:
1. Dana Scully (X-Files) - probably my first girl crush in television. She was smart, tough, great-looking and had a killer wardrobe. She was just as likely to save Mulder as be saved by him. And no matter how silly the show got, she always could be counted on to keep a straight face. I like that about an action hero.
2. Aeryn Sun (Farscape) - Hot, kick ass babe who managed to be alien the entire run of the series. I loved that she was more often than not the one to do the saving. I loved that she learned and changed through the series. Don't believe me? Watch the first episode and compare the character to how she acted at the end. Would you have ever believed that woman could become so caring?
3. Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars) - once again, tough, doesn't take shit from anyone woman (except for Logan, but that's another story). Who ever thought a high school student on a tv show could be so in control? What's great is that she can lose her shit and still be tough. And it doesn't hurt that she's played by the incomparable Kristin Bell, either.
4. Xena (Xena) - Come on, probably the best portrayal of what could have been a ho-hum one-dimensional Amazonian ever. I loved that Lucy Lawless never took this shit seriously. You could almost see her winking at you, as if to say she was in on the joke too. The fact that they got so much lesbian subtext past the censors was also fun.
5. Hmmm, this is a tough one. There are so many worthy candidates. I'm going to have to go with the prototypical female hero, Mrs. Peel. How can you not love a woman in leather that was played by a Shakespearian trained actress?
So, there's my list. Lot of good characters left off, but I think it'll do.
1. Dana Scully (X-Files) - probably my first girl crush in television. She was smart, tough, great-looking and had a killer wardrobe. She was just as likely to save Mulder as be saved by him. And no matter how silly the show got, she always could be counted on to keep a straight face. I like that about an action hero.
2. Aeryn Sun (Farscape) - Hot, kick ass babe who managed to be alien the entire run of the series. I loved that she was more often than not the one to do the saving. I loved that she learned and changed through the series. Don't believe me? Watch the first episode and compare the character to how she acted at the end. Would you have ever believed that woman could become so caring?
3. Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars) - once again, tough, doesn't take shit from anyone woman (except for Logan, but that's another story). Who ever thought a high school student on a tv show could be so in control? What's great is that she can lose her shit and still be tough. And it doesn't hurt that she's played by the incomparable Kristin Bell, either.
4. Xena (Xena) - Come on, probably the best portrayal of what could have been a ho-hum one-dimensional Amazonian ever. I loved that Lucy Lawless never took this shit seriously. You could almost see her winking at you, as if to say she was in on the joke too. The fact that they got so much lesbian subtext past the censors was also fun.
5. Hmmm, this is a tough one. There are so many worthy candidates. I'm going to have to go with the prototypical female hero, Mrs. Peel. How can you not love a woman in leather that was played by a Shakespearian trained actress?
So, there's my list. Lot of good characters left off, but I think it'll do.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Just the Facts, Ma'am
I think I've finally OD'd on sports talk radio. I'd been listening to it a lot lately because, well 1. The Steelers and that little old football came and 2. Radio sucks around here unless you like Right Wing Radio - all. the. time. So what finally turned me off of it? The little syncophant fanboys? No, it was the Foxsports radio announcers themselves. This morning one of their frat boys was going on and on about how biased the football hall of fame voters are, how the fans know better, how it's just 39 biased sports writers opinion. What got him riled up? His own biases of course. How could they not say so-and-so was a hall of famer? They are obviously biased because they don't agree with him. Um, huh? First of all, fans are obviously the most unbiased people in the world (tongue firmly in cheek). Just look at the last Superbowl. I can tell you who you rooted for (or against) based on what you thought of the officiating. So, no. Just no.
Truthfully, everything and everyone has a bias. It's not a sin. It's called being human. And just because someone's bias doesn't agree with yours doesn't mean they are wrong. Did it ever occur to this guy that maybe, just maybe, he was wrong? Oh, that's right. This is Fox. They are never wrong. Just like their "news" is "fair and balanced." Right. 'Cause they never just agree with one side of an issue or just present one side, right? OK, so maybe it is true only in Bizarro world. But that's what I hate about claims of bias. They usually only show up when you disagree with someone - including for me (if my attitude toward Fox is any indication). I think the bigger problem is not admitting your own bias and never listening to an opposing point of view.
Finally, what would happen if we based everything on "facts" as folks want to? The bigger question is which facts do you evaluate? Going strictly by "the facts" also is a bit like driving while looking in the rearview mirror - it's great for seeing where you were, not so great in seeing where you might want to go. I have a director at work who's big on "facts", and as a consequence, has never seen a project he wanted to approve. Then he has the nerve to ask why we don't have more projects. Hypocrite much?
So yeah, facts are important. But so are opinions. And just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they are always wrong. Last I looked, only one Man was ever infallible (with apologies to any Catholic that might read this).
Truthfully, everything and everyone has a bias. It's not a sin. It's called being human. And just because someone's bias doesn't agree with yours doesn't mean they are wrong. Did it ever occur to this guy that maybe, just maybe, he was wrong? Oh, that's right. This is Fox. They are never wrong. Just like their "news" is "fair and balanced." Right. 'Cause they never just agree with one side of an issue or just present one side, right? OK, so maybe it is true only in Bizarro world. But that's what I hate about claims of bias. They usually only show up when you disagree with someone - including for me (if my attitude toward Fox is any indication). I think the bigger problem is not admitting your own bias and never listening to an opposing point of view.
Finally, what would happen if we based everything on "facts" as folks want to? The bigger question is which facts do you evaluate? Going strictly by "the facts" also is a bit like driving while looking in the rearview mirror - it's great for seeing where you were, not so great in seeing where you might want to go. I have a director at work who's big on "facts", and as a consequence, has never seen a project he wanted to approve. Then he has the nerve to ask why we don't have more projects. Hypocrite much?
So yeah, facts are important. But so are opinions. And just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they are always wrong. Last I looked, only one Man was ever infallible (with apologies to any Catholic that might read this).
Monday, February 06, 2006
Go Team?
I know I'm supposed to be jubilant today, but somehow, I can't muster any enthusiasm. I mean, sure, the Steelers won, and yeah, I'd rather they won than didn't, but still ... well, quite honestly the game stunk. The officiating was not great and it kind of took some of the shine off the game. I wanted to see the teams play their best ball and what we got was this yawn-fest, where Pittsburgh couldn't move the ball to save their lives, Seattle couldn't finish off anything, and the officials often seemed out there in la-la land. It was one of the most boring games I've ever seen. If I hadn't had a rooting interest, I probably wouldn't have watched it. A very unsatisfying conclusion to a fairly satisfying season.
As for other stuff, I'm still not losing weight, which is frustrating. I mean, if I'm not going to lose anything anyway, why not just be a pig, eat what I want and stop the insane exercise thing? It's not like I LIKE exercising anyway. Being 40 sucks.
As for other stuff, I'm still not losing weight, which is frustrating. I mean, if I'm not going to lose anything anyway, why not just be a pig, eat what I want and stop the insane exercise thing? It's not like I LIKE exercising anyway. Being 40 sucks.
Friday, January 27, 2006
On Watching TV
I actually had planned to update long before now but had trouble getting into the system. Yeah, I know, terribly disappointing, ain't it?
Anyway, I've lost the chance to post a couple of good rants. One was on why does the Superbowl matter? I mean, really, it's not like I'm going to lose weight, win money, or get more friends if the Steelers win. Why is it so doggone important then? Why am I stressing out over whether they play well or not? How does it affect me personally? Why will it make a difference five seconds after the game ends? Yet here I am, reading any drivel I can about the game. The really sad thing is that I've managed to transfer my paranoia/strangeness/whatever to my younger daughter. She now knows that you have to lay on the couch in the direction the Steelers are heading. She knows that when the Steelers have the ball, you always point your index fingers (either for first down or touchdown) and when they are on defense, you fist your hands (the universal signal for 4th down). She knows that when the Steelers are either going for a touchdown or kicking a field goal, you put both hands in the air to signal the score (and, of course, when the other team is kicking a field goal, you make the no good signal). Who would have guessed that watching football required so much training?
I can't really remember much else I was planning to rant about other than Smallville last night: I mean, really, did anyone want Bo Duke to die instead of little Miss-All-About-Me? Raise your hand if you were relieved Lana lived? I thought so.
Anyway, I've lost the chance to post a couple of good rants. One was on why does the Superbowl matter? I mean, really, it's not like I'm going to lose weight, win money, or get more friends if the Steelers win. Why is it so doggone important then? Why am I stressing out over whether they play well or not? How does it affect me personally? Why will it make a difference five seconds after the game ends? Yet here I am, reading any drivel I can about the game. The really sad thing is that I've managed to transfer my paranoia/strangeness/whatever to my younger daughter. She now knows that you have to lay on the couch in the direction the Steelers are heading. She knows that when the Steelers have the ball, you always point your index fingers (either for first down or touchdown) and when they are on defense, you fist your hands (the universal signal for 4th down). She knows that when the Steelers are either going for a touchdown or kicking a field goal, you put both hands in the air to signal the score (and, of course, when the other team is kicking a field goal, you make the no good signal). Who would have guessed that watching football required so much training?
I can't really remember much else I was planning to rant about other than Smallville last night: I mean, really, did anyone want Bo Duke to die instead of little Miss-All-About-Me? Raise your hand if you were relieved Lana lived? I thought so.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Can I Breath Now?
I may or may not have mentioned this, but I'm a huge Steelers fan. Always have been - growing up in Pittsburgh in the 70's has something to do with it, I'm sure. Anyway, since 1980, the team has really done nothing but break my heart. There's always something that keeps them from getting to the big game or (in 1995) winning the big game. It's usually that they are just good enough to not win. They only win enough to ruin any chances for a good draft pick. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride as they say. So as a Steelers' fan, you develop a sense of self-preservation and brace yourself for the game you are sure they can't win. For me, it was yesterday's game at Indy. Oh sure, anything can happen, but our pass defense had been so porous, and, well, the most I was hoping for was a close game.
Then, BAM! 14-0 and Manning can't complete a pass to save his life. Do my eyes deceive me? Can this be? Ah, but here comes Manning near the end of the half - surely he's going to cut the lead in half. And with the Colts getting the ball first in the second half ... well, it was nice while it lasted. But wait, the Colts are held to 3 points. Whoa, dodged a bullet that time. Maybe the Steelers can hang with them.
Second half - waiting for the inevitable Colts offensive explosion. But wait, the Steelers are now up 21-3. How can that be? I mean, yeah, I love my team, but come on. These are the Colts they are playing, everybody's appointed SuperBowl champ.
Fourth quarter and if you thought things were strange, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Steelers go for it on 4th and 1, not once, but twice. And make it twice. Despite the Refs "do-over" on the offsides/encroachment/illegal motion (don't know what should have been called, but something should have been). And then Troy intercepts Manning. Woo doggies, game over, right? Right? HOW ON G-D'S GREEN EARTH CAN THEY REVERSE THAT CALL??!?!?!?!?!?? We are so screwed. But wait, Manning's sacked at the 2 on a 4th and 16. That has GOT to be game, right? Right? Bettis fumbles? HUH? WHA? The man never fumbles. WHY? WHY? WHY? Thank heavens for Ben's tackle - at least they have a chance (however slim). Guess I should have been happy the Steelers stuck with them this long. WIDE RIGHT!!!! Vanderjagt is wide right! Oh my heavens, they just did it. They won the game. I'm stunned.
Of course, now I'm worried they've spent all of their emotion on this game and will come out flat against the Broncos. They can't win that game, can they? Someone pass the Maalox.
Then, BAM! 14-0 and Manning can't complete a pass to save his life. Do my eyes deceive me? Can this be? Ah, but here comes Manning near the end of the half - surely he's going to cut the lead in half. And with the Colts getting the ball first in the second half ... well, it was nice while it lasted. But wait, the Colts are held to 3 points. Whoa, dodged a bullet that time. Maybe the Steelers can hang with them.
Second half - waiting for the inevitable Colts offensive explosion. But wait, the Steelers are now up 21-3. How can that be? I mean, yeah, I love my team, but come on. These are the Colts they are playing, everybody's appointed SuperBowl champ.
Fourth quarter and if you thought things were strange, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Steelers go for it on 4th and 1, not once, but twice. And make it twice. Despite the Refs "do-over" on the offsides/encroachment/illegal motion (don't know what should have been called, but something should have been). And then Troy intercepts Manning. Woo doggies, game over, right? Right? HOW ON G-D'S GREEN EARTH CAN THEY REVERSE THAT CALL??!?!?!?!?!?? We are so screwed. But wait, Manning's sacked at the 2 on a 4th and 16. That has GOT to be game, right? Right? Bettis fumbles? HUH? WHA? The man never fumbles. WHY? WHY? WHY? Thank heavens for Ben's tackle - at least they have a chance (however slim). Guess I should have been happy the Steelers stuck with them this long. WIDE RIGHT!!!! Vanderjagt is wide right! Oh my heavens, they just did it. They won the game. I'm stunned.
Of course, now I'm worried they've spent all of their emotion on this game and will come out flat against the Broncos. They can't win that game, can they? Someone pass the Maalox.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
I'm Grouchy
Hubby's out of town and I know I should be getting a bunch of stuff done, but I'm tired, and I'm irritable, and I'm just downright grouchy. I couldn't wait for the kids to get to bed - mainly because I want to go to bed now too. Hubby called, and I don't think I could have sounded less interested. Kids were shooed off to bed with a grouchy grumble. And here I was thinking I'd get tons accomplished when he was out of town. I mean, it's not like I don't have anything to do. I probably have a good 8 hours of work that I brought home with me. I definitely need to exercise. The house needs cleaned, and tomorrow is garbage day. So what do I want to do? Eat raw cookie dough and go to bed. I guess I'll do the garbage ... and I really should get some laundry done so my older girl will have something to wear to her sleepover on Friday. But that's it. I'm not exercising tonight. And I am going to dig into that cookie dough.
Gee, wonder why I didn't lose weight last week?
Gee, wonder why I didn't lose weight last week?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
