Owning Up to Your Feelings

I was raised in a family where ugly emotions were ignored. Oh, there was the regular shouting, but that wasn't because anyone was angry - they were just trying to get your attention. Riiiiight. No one was allowed to be sad or angry or jealous or selfish (except when they were, and then the rest of the family was supposed to make up excuses for why a particular person behaved the way they did). I've carried that notion thoughout my life, which made it really hard to determine if my reactions were normal or overreactions to situations. I would sit and analyze the situation until I could warp it around so that it really wasn't the way I thought it was.

So anyway, as an adult, I have trouble dealing with negative emotions in myself. I'm sure that I'm overreacting. And heaven forbid I should ever admit to one of the negative emotions. Like right now, I'm jealous and feeling disrespected. Mainly because I wasn't invited to a meeting at work. The real crazy thing is that I really don't want to go to the meeting, yet I feel envious of those who are in the meeting. They are the "important" people. And what am I? Chopped liver? How cracked do you have to be to think like this? I mean, there are people in positions that I have zero respect for, but I'm still jealous of them. All because of my own blooming insecurity, that I'm not good enough and this proves it. I can logically look at the situation and say I'm cracked, but yet I still feel dissed. Strange, no?