Thursday, July 27, 2006
What Is The Measure of Your Success?
Jynx asked some questions on a posting board I frequent which unexpectedly made me uncomfortable. I mean, they weren't overly personal or inappropriate, it's just that they made me uncomfortable, which made me wonder why. You see the questions were all about success and accomplishments - no big deal, right? But then I started to look at my life and ... well, it kind of felt like I didn't have much to show for it. And there's the rub. I'm not unhappy. I like my life. I'd like to be less dependent on my job for cash, but wouldn't we all like to win the lottery? I'm reasonable successful career-wise, I love my hubby and kids, the kids are doing well in school, etc. etc. So why do "success" questions make me uncomfortable? I guess it's kind of a mid-life crisis thing. It doesn't seem like I've DONE anything with my life. I mean sure, I'm comfortable and mostly happy, but I just haven't done anything to make a mark. I don't know what would enable me to feel like I've done something - maybe finish that ever-elusive book, who knows - but it feels like everything in my life is fairly transitory, that I should have spent my time more wisely. I guess it's kind of cracked, but there you are. G-d, this sounds like I'm miserable. I'm really not. It's just that ever-elusive not having "done" anything with my life. I guess most people don't really do anything with their lives, but shouldn't I have tried to do something???
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Again, sorry I made you uncomfortable.
I was just thinking about this the other day when I was reminded of a couple of things I really worked hard to achieve - and for which I was recognized - when I was in HS.
Then it occurred to me (and made me sad) that I haven't many markers for the last 10 years or so of my life. If looking at it like a gallery, it's almost like a blank wall with a whole collection before it.
And when looking forward, I couldn't see many opportunities to garner recognition either. So, it bummed me out.
I did those questions in hopes that we could find positives about what we've done and who we are...
And, I understand that elusive thing... I'd love to read more of your stuff if you're up to writing and/or polishing!
I know it's weird. I feel very much as you do about the achievement thing. For me, the first several years of work were like that too. Then I got married, had kids, and looked around to discover I'm kind of stuck in neutral. It's not that it necessarily makes me unhappy, it's just ... I dunno, feels like I should be DOING something - not that I know what.
Post a Comment