Thursday, August 04, 2005

It's always something...

You know, it seems like I can always find something to whine about. Why is that? It's not like my life sucks beyond the telling of it - far from it. So why am I always looking at the bad. Near as I can tell there are a couple of really warped reasons for it. One, if I look for the bad and the bad happens, I'm not nearly disappointed. And as bad as that reason sounds, it's nothing compared to the neuroses exhibited by reason number two. And what is that profound piece of logic? So long as I worry about the situation, there will be nothing to worry about. The minute I allow myself to relax, things'll go to hell in a handbasket. So by keeping myself constantly stressed, I can prevent bad things from happening, right? OK, so where are those men in the white suits with their big pills that make me see the pretty colors?

The sad thing is I realize how neurotic this all is, but I still don't seem to be able to back away from the thought process. Maybe that's why I like writing. I can make other people as neurotic as I actually am, taking it to it's logical extreme and demonstrate that I do realized it's a cracked way to live. Not that I'm going to change my own behavior anytime soon. Noooo. As hatgirl likes to quote, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you." Geesh. Somebody pass the Ritalin.

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